Tune: "The Babysitter's Here" by Dar Williams

Tonight was just great she taught us to make plastique
Now she's building a mind control box that's disguised as an old TV
I don't understand and she tries to explain how
She once took control of the president's brain and this intern girl and...

She's the best one that we've ever had
She dresses in black and she brainwashed my dad
And she taught me to shoot, and she pierced her own ear
And it's "Fools, I'll crush you!" The babysitter's here

Her henchman is Igor. She calls him "incompetent fool"
His eyeballs bug out and he's stooped and he's short and he likes to drool
And will he have plans and a lab of his own? She says,
"Not if he touches that wire, he won't."
And she yells at him, oh... someday I'll have a henchman just like that
She's the best one that we've ever had
She dresses in black and she brainwashed my dad
And she hollered at Igor to get her a beer
And it's "Fools, I'll crush you!" The babysitter's here

And she took us both to a big building downtown
We stole a police car
And she set up a proton beam cannon and dressed in a black leotard
And there she was ranting and raving. She said,
"Surrender this city to me, or you're dead!"
And she's oh... oh... I can't wait to flip the switch, I can't wait to flip the switch...
She's the best one...

(Okay, so, the news guy said it was a "hostage situation"
And we were the "hostages", so that means that the star was
My babysitter!)

But the cops took us home, it's late and we'll be on the news
She said, "Do me a favor, don't hire a henchman who'd make you lose"
And I don't understand, and she tries to explain
And all that mascara runs down in her pain
'Cause she's leaving me...

You're the best one that we've ever had
You build scary toys and you brainwashed my dad
And I'll make you a picture, for prison next year
So hush, you'll crush them. The babysitter's here

The best babysitter's here

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